Many of my constant readers and friends of The Oak Ridge Boys are well aware that our oldest daughter Sabrina was diagnosed with a life threatening and unusual tear in her carotid artery two years ago. It was a very tough period of time for Mary and me, as well as her husband Mark and two children Breanne and Luke. We all came to a harsh realization that we could lose her.

Thousands of people had her on their prayer lists and we will be forever grateful. This past year, the doctors pronounced her artery HEALED, and we are very thankful. But the process has been long and winding. For Sabrina, there have been valleys to forge and rough waters to navigate. But her childlike FAITH in the MASTER has never wavered. She recently wrote this wonderful testimony, a view of it all through her own eyes as a mother and a Christian who was faced with death and then recovery. I asked her if I could share this with my readers and she said, “yes.”

Thank you, SABRINA. I LOVE YOU DEARLY. HERE....... is a BLESSING! 

(JSB)

 

THE RESULT - CONSIDERING IT JOY

A trial by Sabrina Carver

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect (mature) and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4 NASB)

 

On July 28th 2004, I found myself in the emergency room of our local hospital with a major headache and a serious problem. Prior to this event, I was a healthy young woman, 34years of age, a wife and mother of two, Breanne nine and Luke almost six. On this night I learned the source of my pain was the left carotid artery in my neck. It had spontaneously split, leaving a 3 centimeter dissection, preventing the flow of blood to my brain. This is something that usually results in a stroke and then death, but the One who fashioned me in my mother’s womb foresaw this event and created my brain with cross running veins. I know these were vital to my survival, which at this point, was very questionable. After receiving all the details of my condition, I could sense the panic in the room. I heard a nurse, who went to school with my husband, say to him; “Mark, we have to get her out of this hospital and to a better facility, this is serious, she shouldn’t even be alive !”

       We’ve all heard stories of people facing death and wondered how we would respond if it were us. Here I was, fully believing that I was going to die, and my first response was anticipation.  The first time I met Jesus was on November 23, 1991. I didn’t meet Him face to face, but through eyes of faith. Without a doubt He came in, and I became a new creature. It was in this confidence, I can honestly tell you, I had no fear of death. As they were making the arrangements to transport me to a larger hospital, I remember lying there and saying to the Lord, “ I guess I’m going to get to see You really soon.” (That so excited me, the moment when my faith will end in sight.) Then, a sudden worry came to my mind. I said, “Lord, what about my babies?”   And so clearly, like a gentle rebuke He asked; “Sabrina, don’t you know I AM God enough to take care of them?” I said, “Yes Lord, You are.  Thanks.” I wish I could put into words the tender yet mighty way He spoke to me. He is truly, like no other!

        I was taken by ambulance to Skyline Medical Center and put in the critical care unit. When I first arrived, I was very tired; my head hurt. I just wanted my husband and some rest. When I asked for him, to my surprise, the nurse informed me that I would not be seeing him tonight. This was quite upsetting. My feelings were hurt, and I struggled to hold back the tears. At this same time they were trying to change out the I. V. needle in my hand, and the pain and emotion was more than I could stand. My crying increased, and I started yelling for them to stop. I thought my head would really explode. They stopped and went and got my husband.  Mark prayed with me and stayed until I calmed down.

       During my stay in critical care, I don’t think the doctors really knew what to do with me. Like I said before, this was an unusual case.  They thinned my blood and treated my pain as best they could. While I was there, I learned to depend fully on God. You see, when I don’t feel good, I don’t want to be left alone. I want someone to hold my hand and dote over me. Although the pain was great, for me the worst part was physically being alone. With visitation restrictions limited to15minutes at a time and only four or five times a day, my husband was not allowed to be with me.

        Many times, what seems terrible at first is really a blessing in disguise. This was one of those times. Mark was not allowed to be with me, but Jesus never left my side. I looked to the Lord for comfort and companionship. True to His promises - I am with you always, - I will never leave you nor forsake you.- He came through. I spent most of my awake time enjoying the presence of God. Because the light and sound was painful, I never turned on the TV. Instead, I played soft praise and worship music, and I prayed.

       In my journal, I wrote out some of my prayers. I was so thankful for His presence. I was grateful for my salvation, for the peace of knowing I knew Him as my Savior, and if I were to be absent from this body, then I would be present with the Lord. I praised Him for the lack of fear; fear not for I am with you. I thanked Him for the great life He chose to give me, for the wonderful husband, and for my two beautiful children. I asked for rest, for relief from pain, and for more trust in Him. I prayed for my family. I wrote good-bye letters to my kids. He helped me do that too. (Thankfully, I still have those letters , my children didn’t lose their mother and Mark didn’t lose his wife. My parents didn’t lose their daughter and you didn’t lose a friend).

       All I can say is God’s grace is truly amazing! Our family was very blessed to have so many people earnestly and faithfully praying for us, people we didn’t even know. Many people came to the hospital to show support. Mark would come in to my room and report to me who was outside or who had come by.

       After five days in C.C.U., they moved me into a regular room. It wasn’t a bed & breakfast, but I was sure glad to have it. I had so many beautiful flowers, and best of all visitors. I got to love on my babies and tell them I would come home soon. A precious lady from my church, one who knows what living with pain is like, gave me a pen that said D.O.G. - depend on God. That was what I learned to do in the hospital and what I continue to do daily.

       They released me from the hospital two days later. At first, it was nice to be home. People were so great to supply meals; they even cleaned my house. There were phone calls, gifts, and flower deliveries. I have to mention the cards too. Throughout my recovery period, I received hundreds of cards. I cannot express to you how the Lord used them to bless me. I plastered my favorites on the wall beside my bed and looked at them often. Some I liked for the beautiful pictures others for their words of encouragement. Most precious were the cards containing scripture, because they spoke exactly what I needed.

        I wasn’t able to do much physically, so I focused on what I could do. I prayed and studied God’s Word. I was thankful to be with my family. Miraculously, I didn’t die in the hospital, so I believed God planned to heal me. The question was when? How long was this going to take, and what was I supposed to be learning in the mean time? I sensed the Lord letting me know He wasn’t going to heal me immediately. His plan wasn’t to take me out of this trial but to go through it with me. He told me: When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flames burn you. For I AM the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior . . . (Isa. 43:2-3) Oh, how precious this verse is to me!

       At home it didn’t take long to become pretty frustrated. School was getting ready to start. There were so many things to think about and to do. My mom took the kids to get their school clothes, but even trying to make a list of the things they needed was difficult. Life was going on, and it was a struggle to keep up. I kept a headache, I had little energy, and I couldn’t remember anything. I was on a 25mg morphine patch that I changed out every third day and Lortab as needed for pain. It took awhile for my body to get use to functioning on all that medicine. During this strange time of adjustment God faithfully encouraged me through His word. One night while venting to Him my frustrations, He just said: “My grace is sufficient for you Sabrina, for power is perfected  in weakness . . . therefore, rather boast about your weakness, so that My power may dwell upon you.”So I kept trying.

       As time passed I went through different stages. I was like a yo-yo, going up and down between gratefulness and self-pity. There were highs, and there were lows. Some days I would try to learn, love and serve the people around me the best I could. So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their Faithful Creator and continue to do good. (1Pet.4:19) When my focus was on the Lord, He was my strength, and I was okay. When I was self-focused, seeing only my pain and my inadequacies, I got angry, frustrated and depressed.

        In spite of wrong focus and in depression the God of all comfort was my faithful friend. Some days All I could do was open up the bible to the Psamls and just weep. In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words.(Romans 8:26) He never stopped trying to teach me.

        One day, the Lord showed me an equation that really helped me; it was based on 2 Sam. 3:1. TIME + CONFLICT= CHANGE. I was in a conflict that’s for sure, but how was I going to change? Weaker like Saul or stronger like David? He reminded me He understood how I felt. But you, O God do see trouble and grief; You consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits (herself) to You; You are the helper of the fatherless.(PS.10:14) He encouraged me to press on. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially, to those who belong to the family of believers. (Gal.6:9-10)

       I began to list my blessings and praise Him for all of the things He brought me through in the past. I prayed scriptures; Teach me your way, O Lord, I will walk in Your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name. (Ps.86:11) For great is Your love toward me; (Ps.83:13a); Sanctify me in Your truth, Your word is truth.(John 17:17). I asked Him to be my heart’s delight. I asked Him to fill me with joy. I asked Him to help me keep a regular quiet time with Him everyday. I prayed for my priorities to line up with His priorities for me. I prayed for energy.

       Being sick is hard for anyone. It’s such a draining, depressing, and frustrating experience. You have so much to do and keep up with and no energy to do it with. There were multiple doctors to see and consult with. There were tests to take ,pharmacies to run to, and bills to sort out and pay. Did I mention all the medications to keep up with? I kept them in a make-up bag with a notebook to write down what I had taken, when and how much. Also, I was up to 75MG of Morphine and changed that patch on my arm every third day. There were so many emotions I went through that I couldn’t begin to explain them all. The Lord was truly my strength and helper; You are my God. You will strengthen me and help me. You will uphold me with Your righteous right hand. (Isa. 41:10). It seemed, at times, to be such a long and dark road I was walking on, but I did not travel it alone.

       On January 26th 2005, six months from that night in the emergency room, I had a test done that showed my artery was healed. I was grateful but not surprised; I knew from past experiences with God that He is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think...In fact I believe God opened it up the night before, during a prayer of faith with just three gathered in His name. The test showed the artery was open but very thin from where the blood had not been flowing thru it for long. God is so good. He is good all the time; in hard times and in times of rejoicing.

       Difficulty for me was not yet over; I started the process of getting  off my medications. Most I could just stop taking; however, Morphine I could not. My body was addicted to it, and I had to detox slowly. I went through three periods of withdrawal. The Morphine came in 75,50, and 25 mg. patches. The first step was taking off the 75mg. patch and replacing it with the 50mg. The withdrawal symptoms were similar to the flu but with strange muscular discomfort that started in my legs. Physically I felt awful, weak, nauseous, clammy, and sometimes completely lifeless. Emotionally it was almost more than I could bear. I wrote in my prayer journal, telling the Lord I was at a new emotional low. That very night the Holy Spirit whispered a word to my ear; Wait on the Lord, Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord.(Ps.27:14). He always gives us just what we need. He brought strength to my heart and later to my body.

       I waited about a month to regain my strength and then I stepped down to the 25mg. patch. Like before, I experienced withdrawal symptoms that lasted between 7 to 10 days. (I chickened out on this one the first time and had to start over.) With the Lord’s help and my Mother’s, I took the last step in May of 2005.

       As I write this testimony, I am celebrating another year of health. This trial has passed, and it has left me forever changed. Jesus, so much more precious to me than ever before, continues to guide my path. I am confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in me will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.(Phil.1:6).

       His priority is my sanctification, and yours child of God. It was for this, (sanctification) He has called you through our gospel, that you may gain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.(2Thes.2:14). We are to reflect His glory to this world. We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.(2 Cor.3:18)  He didn’t save us just from hell, but so that we would live for the One who died in our place. (See 2Cor.5:14&15) We are to be the light of the world and a city set on a hill.

        I understand that it is hard, but let us consider it all joy when we encounter various trials. Let’s be grateful  for any means by which the Lord chooses to grow us spiritually. Trials in this life are, or can be if you let them, like Miracle Grow to the soul. I have much to learn and far to go; Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. (Phil.3:12);but I will choose to rejoice in the Lord always.(Phil.4:4) because I know that; it is God who works in us to will and to do for His good pleasure. God used this sickness to show me so much, to teach me immeasurable amounts, and to prove once again His great faithfulness. And He wants to do the same for you.

       Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; may your spirit, soul, and body be preserved completely, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass. (1Thes. 5:23 & 24)